I don’t know what it is, maybe the pandemic causing everyone to go stir crazy? Or maybe we are just living longer and we may as well be happy.
Or maybe the older I am, the older the clients are that I attract. I’m not sure, but lately, I see many clients in their sixties and seventies who want a divorce.
As we sit down to go over the asset distribution and to discuss social security benefits or retirement incomes, the question comes up, “Am I too old to divorce?”
They are asking me? Of course, I’m going to say no! But not because I am a divorce attorney. I say, “You are never too old to be happy.” I have heard stories that make me so sad from senior clients. How their spouse cusses them. Or even threatens them. One of my client’s wives used to threaten to shoot him regularly.
He’s divorced now, thank goodness. Or another woman who craved intimacy and wanted to ask me if she was too old to still have sex. I say no to that too! Sometimes, due to health or just meanness, partners turn on each other.
One sweet lady told me how her husband talks to her and I was appalled. Even now, the only reason she is getting divorced is that her kids won’t come over.
I’ve had a few clients who are in their golden years complain because of the lack of intimacy. Sleeping in different beds and no touch or sex for many years is not uncommon. Many times they just want to feel loved again. If it sounds like I do a bit of informal counseling, I do.
I’ve seen parties married forty years or more decide to end the marriage over these kinds of issues. Normally, it’s the party who craves the romance in their relationship that instigates the divorce.
One always hopes that the love they shared once will carry them through divorce negotiations. I can recall two different divorces where the party who wanted out, was so kind and generous I was advising them against their agreement. But in the end, I understood and of course, supported.
My Suggestion as a Divorce Lawyer
What I suggest, if you want a divorce and you are feeling too old, think about what it is you want to change in your marriage. Do you want more affection? Want to travel and enjoy life more?
Do you have different interests now? Do you have any common goals? What can you find good about your spouse? Is there any way to repair the relationship? Most of the time, I find that clients feel it won’t do any good to discuss the issues. And it may not.
There really is no age limit on happiness.