Making the Decision to Divorce – Part 2: 5 Things to Consider Before Filing Those Papers
Are there Things to Do Before You Make that Trip to the Lawyer?
Yes, there are steps you can take between thinking about a divorce and actually filing papers.
Just take a look at a few simple and logical steps to take before you make your final decision:
- Take time away
– It’s amazing what a little time away can do to help clear the head. You can’t make any really important decision without first having time by yourself to examine the problem and to discover or reconnect with what’s really important in your life. In the thick of it, all you want is out, but that feeling may change. Time away from the stress of the situation may give you a new perspective. Plan a simple retreat, alone. Drop the kids off at grandma’s house and go somewhere quiet. Take vacation time or sick time from your job if you have to; your decision is that important. Your church may even have retreats you can sign up for. Whatever it takes, get away by yourself to defuse the situation before you make such a difficult decision as filing for divorce. It’s also important to remember that time away from stress also includes times away from well-meaning friends and family who may be trying to influence your decision.
- Seek professional counseling
– When talking about your problems with each other is getting you and your spouse nowhere, a counselor may be the answer. A professional counselor will listen to both sides and help you see where your marriage, and you, are stuck. Heated arguments or cold disinterest aren’t necessarily the end of a marriage. You may have more common ground than you are aware of at the moment; it just may be buried under years of unresolved anger or resentment. Solving these very human problems often takes a third party to put the issues in perspective. A professional counselor is trained to hear what is being said without the passion getting in the way. If ordinary strife and stress is causing a marriage to crumble, seeking professional counseling may save you from taking that difficult drive to the lawyer’s office. If you decide to file, you’ll at least have a better understanding of your marriage, and yourself.
Have You Been Thinking About Divorce?
If so, your heart is probably ruling your head right now. Consider not just your feelings at the moment but what this decision means down the road. Approach the decision you make to divorce with your eyes wide open and examine every scenario before you move forward.